Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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