Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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