This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize