i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
