i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
