Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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