we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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