remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
