I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
