We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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