OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
