fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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