Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
His hands were made for my vagina.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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