Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
