I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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