I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
