yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
