I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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