There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
