Swine flu. Run for my life!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize