isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
