Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
