i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
my poor anus
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
