Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i need some magic done to my vagina
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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