Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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