All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
