oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
