I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
