Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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