I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
