I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
