new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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