FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Drake has all the answers
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
