Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
