I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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