I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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