Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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