On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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