On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
