She said her name was "party"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
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