Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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