I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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