i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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