I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
