Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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