just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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