Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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