at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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