if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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