What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
