Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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