Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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