the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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