good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
