OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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