dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
