i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
