there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
