You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
