Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
