Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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