Someone shit on the floor
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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