Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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