we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just puked most of my soul out..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The air taste purple.
Randomize
