I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
