I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
