Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
foreskin is a definite game changer
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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