if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
