How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize