Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
