bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
