Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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