Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
