I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
