bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
