It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
