Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
