u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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