whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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