Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
