just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
