They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
