I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
