the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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